Nate Bargatze opens “SNL” with a monologue about DoorDash encounters

Like all of us, Nate Bargatze has had his share of unpleasant, almost embarrassing encounters with DoorDash.

During the comedian Saturday Night Live In the opening monologue of Season 50 – his second host – Bargatze detailed how two drivers were delivering separate orders at the same time and how he once had to search for a misplaced delivery.

“DoorDash is going to kill me,” he began. “I'm looking at it like it's Tinder, just scrolling through and seeing who's open… I'm just laying there getting myself a blizzard now.” I want it right now, put it quietly on my porch, don't let anyone in this house know I do this, it cost 3 grand for this blizzard. All right, I’ll pay for it.”

The Hello World The comic then said that he often does “double dashes,” meaning he “spices the guy up, like what else is open around you? There are nerds at this gas station?” However, Dairy Queen distributed to two different drivers who arrived at the same time.

“Now I look at the GPS and I have the impression that they will come at the same time. It's my worst nightmare. I need one of them to get into a wreck that happens. I see them both, they make the turn at the same time. I'm ashamed. McDonald's comes in, gives it away, Dairy Queen has to let him out. He was just at the cul-de-sac, like I was having construction done on my house at 11 o'clock at night, just 'Go ahead!'”

But Bargatze learned his lesson from this experience and decided to specifically order the two meals from two different drivers next time to control their arrival. When his Sonic order was placed at a “door I don't recognize,” he decided to “track her down.”

“I walked through all the yards in my neighborhood,” he said. “I was like a raccoon at every Ring doorbell in the neighborhood.”

Bargatze, a Grammy-nominated stand-up comedian, will soon appear in a CBS holiday variety special he co-wrote SNLIt's Mikey Day.