Gravity, maple syrup, and other things I'm grateful for

One of the things I love about British Columbia is that everyone comes from somewhere else, whether via the Beringia Continental Bridge thousands of years ago or via the YVR arrivals terminal on Tuesday morning.

Last year, BC received the second highest number of immigrants to Canada: 66,268 people (Ontario was first with 199,297 and Nunavut was last with 45).

These newcomers have a lot to contend with: the language barrier, finding affordable housing, finding work, adjusting to the cold, and understanding our undoubtedly bizarre holiday traditions.

This brings me to explaining this weekend's holiday to Dave.

Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday in October after the fall harvest.

It is sometimes called “Canadian Thanksgiving” to distinguish it from the American holiday of the same name, which occurs toward the end of November when travel is icier and more dangerous in an effort to reduce gun violence.

Thanksgiving has been an official Canadian holiday since 1879 and is celebrated in all provinces including Quebec, where it is called Jour de l'Action de grâce, which roughly translates to “thanksgiving” in French.

According to some historians, the first Thanksgiving celebration in North America took place in 1579 after the safe landing of Martin Frobisher's fleet in Newfoundland. I should probably mention that while Inuit existed, the Pilgrims and Indians from the Pocahantas cartoon did not.

Frobisher was an English privateer searching for the Northwest Passage, which did not exist because climate change had not yet melted the poles. He tried and failed a total of three times, so he was pretty tired and hungry. As you probably know, there's nothing like leftover turkey to fatten up a man.

Other historians, particularly those who study Disney films, adhere to the Pilgrim version of North America's first Thanksgiving in 1623.

This is the version in which the Puritans wear somber black clothing and silver buckles on their shoes, giving the animators less time to draw, and in which the Wampanoag people are generous with their turkeys and, as it turns out, their entire future are generous.

If you're a newbie to Canada — let's say you're fleeing the American apocalypse next month — the food we traditionally serve for Thanksgiving dinner starts with a delicious roasted turkey stuffed with stuffing made mostly from wet bread , salt and other spices, such as more salt.

The specific recipe is often a carefully guarded family secret and sometimes includes raisins or walnuts. If you are unlucky enough to be with one of these families, call the police immediately.

To accompany the turkey there is a bulbous parade of mashed potatoes with gravy, cranberry sauce, various autumn vegetables and Brussels sprouts, which no one eats traditionally and also because of the taste.

Due to the usual dining options, you should wear sweatpants and unlaced shoes.

Thanksgiving dinner traditionally ends with some kind of pumpkin dessert, such as apple pie, but instead of delicious apple pie, there is pumpkin pie.

I should probably mention that disliking the taste of pumpkin is illegal in British Columbia, where we produce over 10.5 million kilograms of pumpkins and pumpkins every year.

It's also about how much weight we will lose after the traditional Thanksgiving meal.

Sharp-eyed readers will have noticed that I did not offer a vegan Thanksgiving alternative to roasted turkey, gravy, etc. That's just because technically the essence of “Thanksgiving” is to “say thank you,” which just doesn't stand out Enjoy a plate of seaweed and chia seeds.

This brings me to the longstanding Thanksgiving tradition of telling everyone at the table what you are most grateful for.

Like last year, Aunt Carol will suggest that we all share rather than pass on the glazed carrots that are currently cooling at her elbow.

She'll start off by being grateful for “her lovely cats, especially Mr. Wigglesworth, a master mouse hunter and a real eye-catcher for the mayor of Victoria,” and then start crying because Carol got into the Gewürztraminer early like she did last year is.

The tradition of sharing gratitude often surprises me and requires quick thinking, not because I don't have much to be grateful for, but because I'm usually so far down that the good things – family, health, avoiding jail – waiting for me time after that little incident at Costco – is already taken.

If this ever happens to you, here are a few emergency gratitude items you can grab from your back pocket and share with others:

• Gravity on our planet is just right to keep things low but not crush them.

• Maple syrup tastes great on pancakes, no matter how old you are.

• I don't have monkeypox yet.

• What a thorough job the electric toothbrush does every morning.

• Netflix.

Another important Thanksgiving tradition involves a sport called Canadian football, which, while not real football, allows worn-out American football players to destroy their knees for a few more years.

Anyway, the Canadian Football League normally hosts a nationally televised doubleheader this weekend, the Thanksgiving Day Classic.

Some Canadians take the CFL very seriously. If asked who you think will win the big game, I recommend you play it safe and embrace the language barrier. Just smile and say “Wayne Gretzky.”

This is hilarious because Wayne Gretzky is actually a famous Canadian ice hockey player.

Like everyone else you'll meet at Thanksgiving this year, Wayne Gretzky's ancestors came to Canada from somewhere else. Things worked out pretty well for this immigrant family.

We still call him the big one.