Elon Musk invented a worse city bus

Silicon Valley reinvented the bus. At Tesla last night “We, Robots” event. CEO Elon Musk introduced the new “Robovan”. which for some reason he pronounced as “Rub Oven.” It looks like something straight forward an art deco nightmareAnd it is here to make public transport in your city even worse. The 20-seat autonomous electric vehicle was Elon’s “one more thing” to end the night. It's certainly something.

Forget for a moment that this vehicle will never be produced on a large scale. The Robovan is at least aesthetically interesting. It's clear that this thing, with its flashiness and hidden mechanics, was visually inspired by the Jay Gatsby-esque shit of the Roaring Twenties. Not even a wheel is visible, giving the vehicle the impression of floating above the ground.

Luckily, there are no potholes or bumps in American city streets, as this thing doesn't have a practical ride height. It's difficult to tell exactly where the Robovan's wheels are, but depending on the size of the overhangs, this could be a real problem when driving up steep hills, speed bumps, or parking lots. However, certified brain genius Elon Musk surely has a solution to this self-inflicted problem. Just wait, he will tell you.

Elon Musk is notoriously opposed to public transit, even admitting that his entire “Hyperloop” project was just a way to divert public money from high-speed rail projects. It's clear that by designing electric city buses with eye-catching and dystopian retro-futuristic chic, he hopes to cash in on investments in public transport in cities around the world. The worse he manages to design public transport (the Tesla tunnels in Las Vegas are not far away for his brilliant vision), the more attractive Tesla's road cars become.

There are a few things about this bus layout that make absolutely no sense.

First, the Robovan's 20 seats are arranged in a ten-ten orientation. The seats are packed tightly together and have a relatively small footprint. The middle seats look like they're forcing you to kneel with a horde of strangers without giving passengers a good way to get out.

Secondly, there is no space in the Robovan cab for your personal belongings, so a space is provided at the front of the vehicle for storing luggage and carry-on luggage. That doesn't seem like a reasonable way to get your groceries home or whatever. Does the hatch open at every stop? Is there anything that stops someone from getting off a stop in front of you and just taking your shit? Is there anything that stops a random opportunistic passerby from just taking your shit? Seems half-baked to me.

Don't make me tap the sign. You know, the sign that says “Having a driverless 20-passenger vehicle drive a prescribed route to pick up and drop off passengers is just an expensive and complicated way to put bus drivers out of work.”

This thing is a flashy distraction, and that's exactly what it always was. Elon is so focused on increasing the company's stock price (which apparently didn't work this time) that he will announce two brand new self-driving vehicles before figuring out how to deliver the hundreds of Semi or Roadster customers have already spent money on. In any case, don't hold your breath waiting for Tesla to launch a new autonomous bus. The company has proven time and time again that it cannot stick to the schedules it sets for itself.