Real-life 'Hot Rabbi' criticizes Netflix series 'Nobody Wants This' for negative Jewish stereotypes in open letter

Dear creators of “Nobody Wants This”:

Mazels on the success of your hit Netflix series. I know a lot of the clever parts of the show are rooted in your personal stories – a podcast with a sister and her conversion to marriage. It must be a thrill! I'm grateful that your team decided to cast Jewish actors to portray some of the most important Jewish characters – it's a remarkable decision. I am pleased that the majority of Jews will find this romantic comedy relevant since 70% of non-Orthodox Jews now marry outside the faith.

I wanted “Nobody Wants This.” I read a lot of positive reviews before watching the series. I loved that viewers were excited about a rabbi's personal life. I like that a synagogue rabbi was consulted on the show – he's my friend's uncle! I'm wearing a Favorite Daughter sweatshirt. I appreciated Erin Foster's outspoken support for Israel and against rising anti-Semitism.

Let me tell you a little about myself. I am a young rabbi serving a population of modern Jewish voters. Coincidentally, Haaretz's 2022 profile of me is titled “New York's Hot Rabbi Unabashedly Likes Her Title.” I attended Jewish schools and camps throughout my childhood. I follow kosher dietary rules. I work every day as a Jewish educator and mediator. I have a very busy schedule and a limited social life.

Like Joanne, I was single for what felt like forever. I just got married this year. I met my husband Ben at a Shabbat dinner. What brought us together, besides chemistry and timing, was our shared background and charity work. On our fourth date, we saw a performance of “Fiddler On the Roof” in Yiddish. Months later we got engaged in Jerusalem.

Before Ben, I had only ever dated Jewish men – whatever, I tried to make it work. I felt conflicted as a Jewish leader and as a public partner. A guy was technically Jewish, but had his mezuzah, a ritual door panel, on the wrong side of the entrance. I tried to let it go for months, grateful that he had a Jewish identity. But when he confused Moses with parting the Red Sea with the Dead Sea, I got an “ick” and we were done.

I am Jewish in everything I do. This is why and why I am a rabbi. My decades of education, self-expression, and life's purpose are closely tied to my Judaism and the joyful sharing of my religion.

This is why I find your portrayal of Judaism problematic. Allow me to respond to the objections and criticisms of Jessica Radloff of Glamor and Allison Josephs of Jews in the City; The show is unfair to the Jewish people and especially to Jewish women. Have you thought about the fact that you have portrayed every Jewish woman as manipulative and overbearing? I feel like you've set a trap for every Jewish woman to find fault with your show: if they do, they prove your stereotype.

In her Vulture review, Fran Hoepfner gets it right: “The show's central problem is that no one on the show itself seems all that interested in being Jewish and how it dictates people live their lives. All of the Jews in the series have tenuous religious customs. Even the rabbi hardly sticks to anything.

Your view of Jewish professionals is superficial. The chief rabbi of the temple is a corrupt jerk. As Noah navigates the religious and secular world, you miss many details. How can one ensure that the rabbi travels on the Sabbath, leaving behind his retreat and camp duties, and then blesses candles and non-kosher wine without a head covering?

As a rabbi, I cannot believe that Noah is only interested in interfaith dating because of his upcoming promotion. Incredibly, Joanne's possible conversion isn't brought up until the eighth episode. By then there is no chance that she would be so committed to Noah's religion. Their version of Judaism is dismissive, cerebral, and yet completely arbitrary.

Do you realize that in the final product you've reduced Judaism to about the same thing – religious dating and abstinence from pork? Nothing else seems to be sacred to the Jewish characters – especially not kindness, openness and deep practice. Even the 12 year old campers are clever hypocrites and liars. Aside from playing mediocre basketball, the Jewish men blackmail each other and are unfaithful to their wives. And why shouldn't they be? They paint a caricature of controlling and cold Jewish women. Noah's mother is unscrupulous because she was caught red-handed eating pork from the trash. Judaism gets some pithy praise for opposing gossip and celebrating calm; That alone does not do justice to the Jewish religion.

I'm disappointed in your show. Additionally, I am disappointed that you missed the opportunity to do something great for the community that welcomed the series creator and helped build her family. I support the greatness of Judaism. I'm not sure you see any real beauty or appeal in our religion. I'm not saying you hate it, but “Nobody Wants This” doesn't reflect that you like it. What you've written makes it seem like the only redeemable aspect of Judaism is the hot rabbi. I hold back when I say that your series is more harmful than helpful to Jews.

The Jewish High Holidays begin this week. It is a time when we reflect on our actions and their impact on others. It doesn't matter whether the damage was intentional or unintentional. We must strive to be better and repair what we broke. If you get a second season, please keep some of this in mind. I had to say something because as a Jew I am honest and strong.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Rebecca Keren Jablonski

Rebecca Keren Jablonski is a rabbi, author and private educator. Her highly anticipated debut memoir, Confessions of a Female Rabbi: Relevant Religion in an On-Demand World, was published in August 2024 by Viva Editions/Simon & Schuster. She is also co-author of On Being Jewish Now, Essays and Reflections from Authors and Advocates (Zibby Media, October 1). Her Instagram is @Myhotrabbi.